Mac: Okay Sid, what can you tell me?
Sid: Looks like a sharp force trauma laceration to the right index finger between the first and second phalanges.
Mac: Did anything come back from trace?
Sid: The brown powder found in the wound tract came back as coffee. Quality blend too - perhaps Illy. I prefer to grind my own blend, the aroma makes me-
Mac: Sid? Any idea what did this?
Sid: Oh yes. Um. The curvature of the incision means we can rule out a straight blade. This was circular.
[CUT TO CGI SLASHER ANIMATION]
Mac: So you're saying he cut his finger on a coffee can?
[DANNY walks in]
Danny: Yes. Why don't you ask him, he's typing this right now.
Mac: What, these words I'm saying?
Danny: Yup. It's called 'fanfic'. Fans write their own versions of the show. All sorts of things happen. There was this time that me and you, Mac, can you imagine this, me and you were-
Mac: Okay, you up there. What happened?
Me: I cut my finger on a sharp edge of an Illy coffee can as described - campus nurse taped it up and a quick trip to hospital confirmed it didn't need any more treatment. I just figured I'd write this to make a drama out of a minor crisis.
Case closed. Horatio?
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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